Coming off of the most successful season of the league's illustrious life, the league commissioner , Bryan Hathaway signaled down from atop his golden throne for some more major changes and improvements to the league as he continued to attempt to cement his legacy in now his third season as league button-pusher. He pushed for expansion and two more teams were added to the group of ten. Now, with 12 teams, two divisions of six emerged, the "Blouses" and the "Shirts"-- Creating Division Championship rings. The Post Season took on a drastic change as well, now allowing all 12 teams in, giving everyone a shot at the coveted crown. The two-week playoff system was also eliminated, making each game just 1 week long again, much to Jacob Jordan's appreciation. (See 2007). The league name was changed for one year to "The League of Extraordinary Genitals".... tasteless, we know.

With Jonathan Creel abruptly taking another leave of absence, this time thanks to some internship involving a mount-me hat, and the addition of two more spots--three rookies had to be called up from the minors (league...not under-age). Hank Hullett, Keith Hathaway, and Zane Lowe rounded out the dirty dozen as the battle lines for 2009 were re-drawn.

the 2009 season also saw the big reveal of "Mount Crushmore"... a Mountain top carved with the faces of all three of the past winners, Will Spencer, Bryan Hathaway and Troy Jordan. (seen below).

Like the success of rookie Weston Lunsford in 2008, The rookies enjoyed big success in '09. Hullett blasted off to an unprecedented start and made a huge statement right off the bat, rolling out 9 straight wins to start off the season, setting an all-time record for the time period.

Mirroring the year of the rookie, it was also a record setting year like none other. Fellow rookie Zane Lowe's "Birds and the Brees" set the all-time record for the biggest blowout win of all time, while also setting the all-time record for Most Points ever scored in a single week. League veteran Jim Waters also set the all-time record for least points ever scored in a week for the time period.

While all eyes, endorsements and fame were focused on rookie Hank Hullett's huge impact on the league early and his quest to break the legendary Spencer's single season wins record (which came up just short), Sophomore Weston Lunsford was looking to play off of his rookie successes of 2008.... and boy did he. However, even as he ended Hullett's record breaking win streak in Week 10, handing him his first loss of the season the masses still didn't pay him too much attention as he quietly awaited his turn in the spotlight.

League founding father and TWO-time league runner-up, Jacob Jordan also found his way back into the spotlight, he found that he shared with the rookie Hullett. Looking at each other from separate divisions, Jordan matched Hullett's win total, albeit a little more quietly, on his way to being the first ever "SHIRTS" division champion, earning the overall #1 seed in the playoffs. Also with 10 wins, Hank's "Kobra Kai Me" squad took home the "BLOUSES" division championship in his rookie year.

But it was in the playoffs that experience paid off as Hullett's squad from the Kobra Kai dojo was shocked in the biggest upset of the season, knocked out of the post season by the "Giant Killer" himself, Bob Lowe and his "Hannah-Joe Montanas" bunch. With the Rookie out of the picture, Weston Lunsford's "Jorts Juggernauts" saw his opportunity and grasped it, blowing through Lowe and the Montana's in the semi-finals, earning a birth in DOL BOWL VII in just his second year in the league.

In the other side of the bracket it was OLD SCHOOL vs OLD SCHOOL as Jacob's "Blue's Jelly Wrestlers" and League Legend, Taf Bentley and his "Hurricane Ditka's" found their way relatively easily through the first two rounds for another epic matchup in the semi-finals. Both were no stranger to the playoffs as they each had two-runner up awards already to their names. The matchup was jokingly touted as the "Runner-Up" Bowl as the two faced off for yet another trip to the big game. In the end, thanks in huge part to a break-out game by the Jelly Wrestler's quarterback, Peyton Manning and his tight end, Dallas Clark, Jordan earned his way to the championship for the third time in his illustrious career.

DOL Bowl VII was touted as a must-win for Jordan. With league expansion and new and younger talent entering the league every year, he knew it may be now or never for his first championship and a chance to join his fellow founding fathers as League Champion. But, the young Lunsford and his "Jorts Juggernauts" would not be denied. The Indianapolis Colts wont be receiving a thank you letter from Jordan anytime soon as, thanks to a late decision to sit their starters in anticipation of the NFL playoffs, Jordan's depth was hit with a blow he couldn't recover from and Lunsford was named the 2009 League Champion. His hometown immediately put up a billboard (seen below) that became the first "commercialization" of the league that Hathaway would later push the entire league that way.


Weston's celebrity status sky-rocketed after the win, and he was also awarded with his second straight Benny The Jet's PF Flyers award for most points scored in a single season. Bob Lowe also took home an unprecedented 3rd Rocky Balboa trophy for his nice comeback, battling back from an 0-3 start, and a mere 5-7 record (#7 seed heading into the playoffs, where he upset the #2 seeded Kobra Kai). Jim Waters also took home his fourth worst team name award for "Milton CamoRules", while former league champion Hathaway won his second Best Team Name award with his tasteless "First Down Syndrome" entry.

Another notable feat was reached in 2009 as Will Spencer became the first owner in league history to earn 50 career wins and earn the "Sally O'Mally 50 Wins Award"

2009 showed it's anybody's ball-game and with 12 teams in it, everybody had to be on the top of their games.


2009: (ESPN)
League Name: League of Extraordinary Genitals
1. Jorts Juggernauts- Weston Lunsford (8-4)
2. Blue's Jelly Wrestlers- Jacob Jordan (10-2)
3. Hurricane Ditka- Taf Bentley (6-6)
4. Hannah-Joe Montanas- Bob Lowe (5-7)
5. Optimus Prime-Time- Will Spencer (5-7)
6. Kobra Kai Me- Hank Hullett (10-2)
7. We Have Big Ballz- Chase Norton (3-9)
8. It's My Vick in a Box - Keith Hathaway (6-6)
9. Carolina Sex Panthers - Troy Jordan (5-7)
10. Milton Camorules - Jim Waters (3-9)
11. The Birds and the Brees- Zane Lowe (5-7)
12. First Down Syndrome - Bryan Hathaway (6-6)
Blouses Division Champion: Kobra Kai Me
Shirts Division Champion: Blue's Jelly Wrestlers

(Regular Season Only)
Most Points Scored: 178- The Birds and the Brees- Week 1 vs Jorts Juggernauts
Least Points Scored: 19- Milton Camorules- Week 12 vs First Down Syndrome
Most Total Points Scored: 1130- Jorts Juggernauts
Least Total Points Scored: 801- Milton Camorules / We Have Big Ballz